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Imposter Syndrome

by Redd Alexander

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1.
That Lincoln Tunnel inbound is gridlocked Taxis wall-to-wall, door-to-door People chasin' dreams among those city lights Mine fell among the shadows on the floor Those subways under central park remind you That nothing here is quite what it seems That Lincoln Tunnel inbound is gridlocked And I'm on my way out fast as can be CHORUS So here's to new beginnings Here's to shattered hope Here's to tattered vessels With enough sail just to float Here's to two lane tunnels With only one way to go Here's to new beginnings Here's to open roads Sidewalks so crowded they feel empty Millions of people all alone Concrete tore the ends off my laces Those empty faces wore holes in my soul That skyline outlines promises to many Yet it auctions them off to so few That Lincoln Tunnel inbound is gridlocked And there ain't a damn thing left for me to do CHORUS That Lincoln Tunnel inbound is gridlocked The Garden State is coming into view I'm blinded by headlights in the mirror From looking back at all those memories of you CHORUS That Lincoln tunnel inbound is gridlocked Taxis wall-to-wall, door-to-door
2.
I've sure got a way of making you feel small Break you down like ceramic as it hits that wall Those words get to flyin' there's no stoppin' at all We take the gloves off, Use our weaknesses as weapons, it gets rough But I'll be damned If I let you get the best of me again And I'll be damned If I let you throw a punch I don't defend You can give your worst, I'll give it back Time and time again But I'll be damned If this is a fight I let you win Took a walk around town to get my mind right Found shelter in the glow of that neon light Old man could smell the blood from a fresh fight Said you gotta choose - When it comes to things like that, its okay to lose But I'll be damned If I let a man get in his own way again And I'll be damned If I don't know that seat your in You can have a fight, lose sight Of where it all began And I'll be damned If I don't wish someone told me this back then So I put my tail between my legs and made my way back home Knocked on that front door, swallowed my pride whole and I said But I'll be damned If I ever storm out on you like that again And I'll be damned If I don't stop the next time that you say when 'Cause it shouldn't be that we have to lose So that I can say I win And I'll be damned If I ever wear the shoes of that old man I'll be damned Oh I'll be damned Yeah, I'll be damned
3.
I can still see the day tears rolled down her freckled face she'd bat her eyes and look up at me beg one more day, daddy, pretty please i got her on the bus with the help of her favorite snack and the promise that i made her, when she got back CH That I would be right here waiting when she walked through the door her bouncin' curls remindin' me there is nothin' i love more that hearin' her explain to me those things she never knew before i'll always be right here waiting 'cuz thats what dads are for it wasn't long before them boys at school took an interest in my baby, too the phone line was nothin' but a busy tone and before i knew it, she had brought one home i shook his hand til i felt them poor bones crack and i told him that the last thing he'd see, when they got back CH was me sittin' right here waiting they could say goodnight at the door that look in his eyes, his face so white like nothin' i'd seen before but the taillight glow as they drove away it chilled me to the core spent all night waiting cuz thats what dads are for bridge and through all the years, the phonecall tears flat tires, and more they could not prepare me for what today has in store but the way you light up that boy's face i can't ignore and you look just like an angel in that dress your mama wore CH and he will be right there waiting when we walk through the door the long walk down the aisle will be all he can endure but we'll take our time i'll hold you tight like all those years before and then i'll stand right there waiting cuz thats what dads are for I can still see the day tears rolled down her freckled face
4.
Up In Smoke 03:59
This 9-to-5 sure pays the bills, and when payday rolls around I guess thats fine, yeah its fine But the hours spent, oh just to pay the rent They sure can take a toll on the mind But at the end of the day I roll my troubles and light em up, yeah I light em on up CH And they float away, just like yesterday and I choke on tomorrows hope that i breathe in deep as i try to keep these dreams of mine from going up in smoke You bet i burn regret with every cigarette I lean on just to make it through the night and i sharpen lead like a gun to my head hoping this one's the one that comes out right But at the end of the page i roll those letters and light em up, yeah i light em on up CH And they float away, damn near run from the page that the paper never seemed to wanna hold and i wash, rinse, repeat as i try to keep these dreams of mine from going up in smoke And when i decide its time for me to quit and die just throw me on the fire and watch me fly CH And I'll float away, find a place to stay high above all the clouds and the hope so don't you cry for me, 'cuz i'll finally be at peace with all my dreams, just up in smoke No don't you cry for me, 'cuz i'll finally be at peace with all my dreams, just up in smoke
5.
Cowboy hats and camouflage what are they tryin' to hide underneath that resistol there's a factory inside songs of molded plastic ain't a single bit of truth just words of what you wanna hear so you can sing 'em too CH I'll sing these songs everynight that no one understands airing out these skeletons the only way i can Open chords and hammer-ons sound so good to me just to get the truth across what else do you need? no fancy rhythms, no place to hide just words upon a melody for you to to find CH I'll shout them from the mountain tops until my final day ride echoes through the valleys 'cuz i know that i can't stay if anyone wants to find me once i'm dead and gone the bluebprint of my soul is wrapped in every single song CH Cowboy hats and camouflage what are they tryin' to hide underneath that resistol is a factory inside songs of molded plastic ain't a single bit of truth words of what you wanna hear so you can sing 'em too
6.
I climb aboard my rocket and strap myself in nice and tight I fire up those thrusters, fly to try to touch that mornin' light My time spent down on the ground, I've found a few things that don't sit right so much is lost in the sound of all those books that cause us to fight CH And as i fly towards the sky i try to find a reason behind the hate But those answers turn up empty in the madness we all create Those ones that yell the loudest often think that they can't ever do no wrong they don't realize they noise they make drowns out the beauty in the song this universe will sing to us if we could clear that chaos from our ears instead they tell us stories, try to keep us living in God's fear CH And when its time to return and my feet are back, firmly on the ground I try to find a way to share a glimpse of this beauty that i've found but it remains the same in that how this world has been - it will stay those God-fearing men and women don't fear nothing more than change CH But as i stare at the sky i know that theres a world beyond the hate and maybe one day we'll fly beyond all this chaos we create As i stare at the sky i know that theres a world beyond the hate and maybe one day we'll fly beyond all this chaos we create
7.
That coffee is black just like my knuckles and my hangover ain't why my heads so sore been fightin' with those i hold dearly in the streets of ol' Baltimore Last call was time to call a taxi but i thought i ought to stay for more Nothin' good happens after 3am in the streets of ol' Baltimore street lights cast shadows of regret and i forget just what we're fighting for that sun will rise and the world carry's on in the streets of ol' Baltimore now my heart hangs heavy like those anchors danglin' from those ships that line the shore i'd sink just as quick if i were to slip from the streets of ol' Baltimore i drove through Canton just to find 'em can't find my way back to before that liquor made loose lips so reckless in the streets of ol' Baltimore that long drive home, i'll make it alone in a silence too loud to ignore just haunted by scars on the pavement of the streets of ol' Baltimore just haunted by scars from the pavement of the streets of ol' Baltimore
8.
There was a time, not long ago, when history was made by those disgusted by the whole damn charade they wouldn't settle for the blindfold they knew that they wore they demanded revolution, even if it meant war CH but funny how time makes things simple through the loss just as that rolling stone can regather moss we ignore the corruption, we forget whats at stake its breadcrumbs and circuses til we reach our grave but today we've got our Xanax and our morphine in pounds can numb our attention better than some old jugglin' clowns and we've got our Netflix and our PornHub, too we're a nation of consumers, it consumes what we do CH so we kick back in our easy chairs, self-medicate to our peace we prefer that wool on our eyes as we fall asleep you can call me a cynic, call me depraved but its breadcrumbs and circuses til I reach my grave now they may not have elephants and serve pizza instead but that show is still a circus with some toppings on bread don't think that you're a winner in this pay-to-play game those rules have long been written with no plans to ever change CH So bust your ass for a dollar and bring home just one cent put your interests in that one percent ignore your just a stepping stone in that road that they pave its breadcrumbs and circuses til we reach our grave just breadcrumbs and circuses til we reach our grave just breadcrumbs and circuses til we reach our grave
9.
I cussed you out this morning cuz you washed my jeans and i apologies it wasn't as it seemed you see, i didn't check my pockets and i know you said you did but it wasn't my knife or my lighter that those filthy denims hid CH it was a kiss you sent this mornin' you sent it ridin' on the wind i tucked it down into my pocket i knew i'd need it again it was a kiss you sent this mornin' blew it right from your hand you bet your ass that i caught it i kiss it every chance i can you cussed me out this mornin' cuz i left you behind you knew the way that i was livin' leaves a man so short on time you're as beautful as ever so are the kids did you feel that warm breeze wake you that i worked my ass of to send? CH That was a kiss i sent this mornin' sent it ridin' on the wind i saw you tuck it in your pocket so i sent it again that was a kiss you felt this mornin' blew it right from my hand i still got yours in my pocket until i see you again that was a kiss you felt this mornin' i sent it ridin' on the wind i still got yours in my pocket i kiss it every chance i can
10.
Nobody Knows 04:22
I remember growin' up and sittin' wonderin' 'bout the way i should take growin' up in a world where you're worth what you're paid should i follow my ambitions? should i swallow all my pride? and sell out all the things that make me feel alive inside CH ohh, here i go wanderin' down this road where is it goin? nobody knows I've never been that kind of man that listens to advice so if you're gonna tell me somethin' you'll have to say it twice a lawyer or a doctor i thought i oughta try those extra couple letters oughta keep them demons quiet so i moved off to that city and i thought that i knew why to wake up to the dream that i'd been chasin' my whole life but that East River runnin' makes an awful noise at night echoes of the sirens reflections of the light CHORUS x 2 I ran off chasin' money til i couldn't run no more and my momma asked me, "honey - now what you runnin' for?" she said 'if you're chasin' money you'll be runnin' your whole life just find somethin' that makes you happy and do it til you die" ohh ohh ohhh oohh i'll never sell a million records but i sure ain't stoppin yet i'll sing these fuckin' songs til i take my final breath like my lungs are in this box that i sling across my chest and me beatin' on these strings its whats keepin' me from death CH ohhh here i go wanderin' down this road where am i going i don't know.

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released September 28, 2018

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Redd Alexander Maryland

A folky style singer-songwriter from Maryland. For every album purchased, I'll drink a beer for you.

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